'De plane land'

Well folks i finally landed. It was a very interesting experience and a half.

First i had to reach airport from 1130am for a 3:30pm flight because virgin seh fi reach 4 hours before and worst with my overwight and all.... Well i reach and worse mi think seh mi alone going to be there. Lo and behold a long line of other persons....were waiting to be checked in.

Anyway mi check in and i waited. and waited the flight was on time. made my way to the security check point. all and sundry was checked. well i hear them seh all virgin passengers go there. One feisty man seh what u seh 'all virgins stand here a dat them seh? this line a fi the virgin them? anyway i ignored him.i got searched went on the plane

When mi go pon the plane i felt like i was in pleasantville. some perky white flight attendants. the women have on nuff makeup and thing and you know the british accent witha pinch of perkiness. anyway flight delayed for one hour. all this time them just a look pon me and mi a look pon them. anyway they finally said 'ground staff ready for take off.' one lady say 'yes unu move from the plane.

and then the 9 boring hours began. i watched tv (with virgin u get ur own tv set) i played game, i slept and still this was hour number 4.......5 more to go. i slept some more and had a dream. when mi jump up mi heart a beat fast, mi start wonder where mi is and then slowly i calmed down.

anyway finally we reach gatwick. lo and behold. they said passengers remain seated. then i see some 50's comeon and look around. go to anice looking young man, hand cuff him and tek him off. i was in shock. anyway sametime mi see the doctor beenie wid some croonies.

anyway now we proceed to immigration...that was boring in itself. this lady start ask mi one bag a question at immigration why mi come uk to study who paying for it and why british council paying for me.
anyway mi answer politely because mi friend ElaD came up last week and shared his experience with them:

'Hey guys jus so you all know I am in England... had the worst time at immigration...the officer thought I was giving her an attitude, but thats because I thought she was giving me an attitude...she told me in her stinkin british accent...YOUNG MAN YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR TONE...yes the bitch was shouting at me...I responded and she asked me...ARE YOU BEING RUDE?...ofcourse I shut my damn mouth after that...she sent me to go sit in the holding area and that she will call me 2 when I am settled down and when she is ready to look over my passport...that white bitch...you guys see why I dont like white people? And to top it off Andrew was at the North Terminal, I came through the South Terminal...yes I waited over two hours for him and thats after a nine 9 hr flight, a flight that was delayed for two hrs in Jamaica because of no bloody reason...then the drive to Andrew's London Town house was another two hrs...So yes I was having a shitty day up until now...but I am good now...Write back all...

Ps. Please excuse my use of the word BITCH...but that bitch sure ot on my nerves...Put a smile on your faces...'


anyway i got out and i saw my cousin who was laughing. yes and after my experience with her i realise why she laughed. we had to take 3 trains with 4, 50lb luggages and a 12 pound pully. yes and that is after a 9hour flight. mi tired all a nuh because after that we had to go back on the 3 trains to get her hand me downs and then come back to where i left the luggage initially. all in all it was good experience and a lesson learnt. look out for my second day which is lunch with the lovely ladys from the british high commission